Gardening Part 1

Dear Nurse Alt

Today I was gardening and I got a blister, I also got scratches on my arms and hands, and something bit me. Should I be worried? What should I do?

Not So Green Thumb

Dear Not So Green Thumb

There are many evil and harmful bacteria that grow in Australian soils and all of them can cause horrendous cellulitis and cellular deterioration leading to abscesses and amputations. Necrotising Fasciitis and Gas Gangrene are also possible outcomes. And lets not forget Legionaires Disease from the soil improver.

Then of course there's the simple fact that half the small crawly things in Australia are highly venomous. You should probably go to the hospital.

Have you finished hyperventilating yet? You are fine, all you need to do is wash your hands. If you are still feeling like you need medical attention can I suggest you grab a bottle of lactulose and take 30mL every hour until you no longer notice the scratches on your arms. Lactulose is well known for its ability to drawn toxins out of the body, this will prevent you from getting any nasty infections. I also suggest resting your fingers, so no typing for a while, especially not to me.

Nurse Alt