Insomnia Part 1

Dear Nurse Alt

I am having real troubles sleeping. I am severely stressed out about work and money. I'm supposed to be saving to go on holiday but I haven't been able to do extra work because I'm so stressed and not sleeping. What can I do?

Needs Sleep

Dear Needs Sleep

Have you ever heard about the wonderful world of valium? Amazing drug, you don't even have to count out the tablets, just shake some into your hand and swallow. 

And I think you need a herbal tonic to help with your stress levels. The one I'd recommend is very good for you, it has juice of the orange, concentrate of pomegranite, and a special medicinal plant extract in it. The fruit juices give you vitamin C for your immune system, and vitamin B for vitality. And the plant extract encourages enzymes from your liver, and decreased muscle tension in your head causing less headaches, it also relaxes the whole body relieving stress. I think you should start taking this tonic on a regular basis, 3 or 4 times a day if you can. It's called a tequila sunrise.

Now onto the work situation. Once your tensions are sorted with the tonic from above, I think the problems at work should disappear. All it takes is a new perspective. And you'll find the view from the other side of the glass is less stressful. You should also start applying for another job. Lets face it, the one you've got isn't right for you.

Finally, money. You are aware that you are a human right? That makes you eligible to work in the exciting and ever changing industry of human to human contact. That's right, people will pay for your company if you are just willing to make yourself look nice. This will solve all your money problems and let you go on that holiday you so desperately want. I would recommend increasing your intake of the tonic though as the work can get a little boring, but that's ok, the customer is buying.

Nurse Alt